Sometimes having a special someone in your life who brings a smile on your face after a long tiring day, stands by during trying times, or simply goes out with you to your favourite cafe to grab a bite, is really all you crave for. Dating brings an overall positive aura in the lives of many, especially during the ‘honeymoon phase’ when anything and everything seems unrelentingly romantic.
At that point in life, when you are with your loved one, nothing else matters. Night-long phone calls, ‘monthiversaries’ – a real deal for many couples – and gift-exchanging competitions between the two individuals are the core components that build the relationship during that period. However, this is for the days of youthful exuberance.
As time goes by, this simple sounding equation, so full of soft and fuzzy feels, does not remain so simple. Have you wondered why?
Perhaps, it is the innate nature of human beings to try and one up each other. As cute as that is in the initial phases, it has the real potent threat of exploding into ego wars. There is also the fact that no two people can think alike at all times, no matter how bonded they are in their hearts.
This also causes discord, and when we start giving importance to opinions more than the emotions, it can escalate into intense tug of wars, regardless of what the relationship is – peers, coworkers, friends, family members, and of course, the one and only significant other. Whether you are single or romantically linked with someone, sooner or later, you will find yourself knee-deep in emotionally charged troubled waters.
Sameen, 23, who just recently earned his Bachelor’s degree, explained that two years into his relationship, he has realised that the most important thing for him is not only finding someone who you can share your feelings with, but building a connection strong enough to last a lifetime.
Although heartbreaks often tend to leave indelible scars, relationships can teach you a handful of valuable lessons. “I’m a more understanding, tolerant and much less volatile man now,” he said.
Moreover, everyone should keep in mind the factors that come in play for them when choosing a partner.
“Ambition and a clear vision of future goals are the driving forces for me,” Sameen confessed.
Dating someone for a long time can familiarise the two individuals in the strongest way and push them to the peak of the comfort zone level with each other. As more and more time goes by, you get to know your significant other better. And I mean you really get to know them, starting from their daily morning rituals and unique food habits to their lucky shirt and weirdest superstitions they devotedly believe in. “With time, the masks will fall off; your partner will begin to reveal his/her true personality which s/he may have possibly concealed in the beginning,” stated Maureen Nawer (24) who recently got married after being in a steady relationship for five years with her now husband.
“While we were doing long-distance during the four years he was away for his undergrads, the true meaning of patience and sacrifice became crystal clear to me,” she recalled.
Relationships indeed take a lot of time and effort, and are not suited for those who lack the knack for compromising. “If you are an emotional person like me, usual fights and disagreements may tend to put you off your stroke, so make sure you hold yourself together; things will fall back into place eventually,” advised Maureen.
While dating is the sole way of finding happiness with another person for a large group of people, being single has its own perks as well.
Shahbaz Amin Bhuiyan, 21, believes he is in a crucial stage in his life now when building up an excellent academic career is purely vital to ensure a prosperous professional career.
“It is true that you do not have someone around always to celebrate national holidays or watch movies with, but being single will let you have a lot of time for yourself,” he feels.
Amid all the daily activities that you tackle everyday, it is absolutely necessary to spare some time just for yourself. This is the time that you can use to boost your self confidence and alleviate your stress levels.
“In fact, I have all the time in the world for my studies, hobbies and games, with zero distractions,” admitted Shahbaz contently.
In Japan, there is an ancient art of repairing broken pottery with gold lacquer known as ‘Kitsugi’ or ‘Golden Repair’. Once the process is complete, the end product is awe-strikingly beautiful, often much better than original item. Relationships, of any sort can be just like those vases. They are made with the combined efforts of two individuals who devote themselves to making something long-lasting and beautiful.
As we are all humans after all, we often tend to mess up and end up breaking the vase, but nothing in this world is irreparable.
Broken hearts can be mended, trust can be restored and people do change for the better. All we need is the courage to bury our egos when they get out of line, and take the proverbial first step forward towards our loved ones to have a happy relationship.